What The Planet Thinks About ...

2008-01-31T07:33:00.000-08:00

... UFOs

A flashlight stuck inside a beer can and subsequently chucked into the air is not a UFO. That is all.

xOxO,

Abductee #aFtJ587pL a.k.a. The Planet

2007-12-13T08:52:00.000-08:00

... People With Crazy Eyes

They are 99.99999998% likely to be clinically, mother tested, kid approved psychopaths. Seriously. Next time you look at your friends or family, look at their eyes. Are they giving you the crazy eyes? If so, we'd recommend running away fast. Crazy eyes always win.

xOxO,

The Planet a.k.a. Sane Eyes

2007-11-05T07:39:00.000-08:00

... James Van Der Beek

Yeah you know, Dawson. Yeah that's right, we watched it. What? You didn't think we'd seen "The Creek" back in the day? Pfffft! Back to what we think about Dawson. We think we like him alot better than Joey. Yeah Mrs.Cruise, that's right ... look at the path they've gone in after "The Creek." Hands down. Dawson > Joey and we think that's why the polar ice caps are melting. That or some penguin has a big freaking hair dryer.

xOxO,

The Planet a.k.a. CreekFreak70

2007-10-29T14:06:00.000-07:00

... Halloween Candy ...

We couldn't help but notice that candy companies have gone to making orange coated chocolate candy for Halloween now. WTF? Chocolate is meant to be chocolate covered. Not orange. Now we're not color racists or any thing, but we like our sugar coated high the way it was meant to be. Black or brown, maybe white. But keep orange where it belongs, on the skin of those who tan too much.

xOxO,

The Planet a.k.a. Michael Myers' Cousin Doug

2007-10-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

... Bird Poop

We've always wondered why it's white when all other poop is brown. So we looked it up on the Internet. It's because they know how to drop a deuce, but they don't flow with the #1. Weird we say, but that leads us to the inevitable question. If we stop urinating, would our poop turn white? Time for a field trip.

xOxO,

The Planet a.k.a. Jack's Smirking Revenge

2007-10-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

... "Rocking" the Arena

That term does not apply and you damn well know it. It's more like "boring us" in an arena. But to each his own, just keep yours as far away from ours as possible so it doesn't get contaminated by that "twang" thang.

xOxO,

The Planet a.k.a. Not Canadian

2007-10-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

... Rainbows & Danny Bonaduce

We're for 'em. Both of 'em. Even if Bonaduce gets a little violent and rainbows get a little wussy-like. We're still for 'em. Why? Quit asking so many questions.

xOxOxO,

The Planet a.k.a. Body Slammed by Bonaduce

2007-09-17T12:41:00.000-07:00

... O.J. Simpson

This dude is one cool mother trucker. I mean seriously we were thinking the other day, hey if that day comes when we snap and you know ... "off" someone and then get away with it ... what do you do for an encore? We were totally thinking about challenging Britney Spears to a baby off, but we think she could probably squirt out six kids before we get pregnant once. And then we were thinking, well why not try our hands at making a pyramid out of midgets ... but we noticed something, not enough midgets around. So thank goodness O.J. helped us by allegedly trying to rob some sports collectibles at gun point. Heck we even have a suggestion for his next move. Start your own reality TV show where you scare the living crap out of people with fake guns and knives and tell them ... "you've been JUICED!" Oh yeah, we're totally collecting royalties when that show happens.

xOxOxO,

The Planet a.k.a. O.J.'s Blatant Stupidity

2007-08-16T12:40:00.001-07:00

... The Summer

We kinda miss it. Oh yeah, it's still around like that ex-girlfriend who won't quit stalking ... err secretly "shadowing" you to see if you've started dating someone else. But it went by waaaaay too fast. I mean it seems like just yesterday that we were sticking firecrackers into that little boy's pet cat's rect... running around with sparklers on the 4th of July. And now, low and behold, summer is just about over. No more lazy days of nothing to do. Now it's lazy days with something to do, lots of things we don't want to do. It's called responsibility and that's totally why we're never leaving college.

xOxO,

KTRL, The Planet 100.7 FM aka John Tarleton's Ghost

2007-01-24T12:36:00.000-08:00

... Personalized/Vanity License Plates

We've seen some lately and we've got to say, those peeps have alotta nerve. Here's some samples:

ACCLR-8
PIGLUVR (Not lying)
6PK2GO (Only in the South)
URSOHOT

And while we are indeed hot as the last plate points out, those who have these personalized/vanity plates are one thing.

2006-12-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

... Egg Nog

What the hell is a NOG? We're no egg experts, but I'm pretty sure there's a shell, the goo around the yolk and the yolk. No where is there a NOG. So what kind of sham is this then? Every Christmas people shell out this stuff that looks like elf snot because it seems to be a socially approved way to get your booze on during the holidays without someone thinking you need to attend an A.A. meeting for all of the 12 Days of Christmas.

And speaking of which, when the hell did we get 12 days of Christmas? I mean the song talks about all this crap that someone is getting for 12 days. Last time we checked, ONE DAY OF CHRISTMAS here in the real world. But if there's some place that is gettin' 12 days of gifts, we're soooooo there.

Oh yeah, egg nog - we don't care what you celebrate during the holidays, what religion you are or what you shove on top of your tree - but if you drink this swill, you're officially full of Popozao. Yeah you dig, you're a bigger D-bag than K-Fed.

This has been another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us because if you don't, 2007 is gonna be a crappy year for you.

2006-12-13T07:20:00.000-08:00

... Nicole Richie

KTRL couldn't help but notice that celebutard Nicole Richie got busted for DUI the other day. The reason we couldn't help but notice is not that she looks like she went out in clothes she stole from our dirty laundry nor because of her close resemblance to Skeletor from the He-MAN cartoon. No we noticed because of this quote from her lawyer:

""This is a difficult time for Nicole but she is prepared to accept whatever responsibility is appropriate. She intends to continue with her career and will deal with any other issues that need to be addressed."

http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah3053.shtml

Career? We haven't laughed that hard in months. Thanks.

This has been another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us because if you don't, skinny celebutards will show up on your doorstep and tell you that they intend to continue with their careers.

2006-12-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

... Magic Markers

Quite frankly, we're thinking about suing for false advertising. I mean sure, they mark like no other. They might even make us a little tingly every time we use them. Heck, we usually get real tingly when we're in a closed room with no ventilation while we're using them and it always smells so ... sooo .... sooooooooooooooo ....

Ummm, man those things are frickin' magic.

This has been another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us because we're magical too.

2006-11-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

... Ice

It's good in cold drinks. It's good to throw at Eskimos to make them feel more at home. It wasn't so good when it was Vanilla. It's still funny when it makes someone slip and they look around to make sure that no one saw them bust their butt. But you saw them and that's why it's funny.

This has been another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us because we saw you slip on the ice and we'll name names if we have to.

2006-11-21T07:39:00.000-08:00

... White Meat vs. Dark Meat

We're not communists, Eskimos, Power Rangers or Kelly Clarkson fans. So you're damn right, give us white meat because that's where that fabulous tryptophan is located that makes you take a nap afterward.

This has been another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us because we aren't the other white meat, we're that station that doesn't play that twangy country crud.

2006-11-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

... Kung Fu Fighting

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting. So we wonder what they're doing now? Did they just stop Kung Fu Fighting? Could they still be Kung Fu Fighting? Seriously, Kung Fu Fighting takes alot out of you. It's like doing Tae Bo on Meth. Not that we would know about Tae Bo, The Total Body Fitness System by Billy Blanks. We're more of a Bow Flex type of radio station. I mean c'mon, there are bows AND they flex. It's like a Dukes of Hazard workout and that reminds us of Jessica Simpson ...

Sorry we needed a moment to use our Kung Fu grip. End scene.

This has been another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us because that's good Kung Fu.

2006-11-09T11:28:00.000-08:00

... You

You're pretty cool. You're definitely the kind of person we'd like to see more of, but don't start getting all clingy. We're not looking for a long-term relationship. Some hot nights of lustful late night listening rendezvous (what the hell is the plural form of rendezvous any how?) and we'd be pretty happy. We won't get jealous if you let other radio stations into your listening rotation. We're cool with sharing you. Hell, we might even cook you breakfast in the morning. But only microwaveable biscuits because we can't really cook, that's just something we say to enhance our rep with our peeps.

Another public service announcment brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us or we'll K-Fed your butt to the curb.

2006-10-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

... Kim-Jong Il

You know, the president of North Korea. Yeah, that guy. We think he makes a better puppet in that movie than he does a real person. So we're starting the petition right here and now, say YES to PUPPETIZE (Yeah, we made that up) Kim-Jong Il. He's alot more entertaining and less creepy that way. Heck, that probably goes for you to. So, we're starting another one. Here's to PUPPETIZING you.

This has been another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us or we'll start puppetizing people you don't like and then what are you gonna have? A really weird puppet show with people you don't like.

2006-10-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

... Berets

We totally saw some guy wearing a beret the other day and couldn't help but wonder, WHAT?! The last time we remember berets catching anyone's attention was a little lady called Monica Lewinsky. Yeah, you remember her. She's the one who didn't have sexual relations with a former President.

But back to the point ... berets in 2006? Unless you're an Army Ranger, we'd like to make a suggestion, buy a frickin' bucket hat or safari hat or a ten gallon hat, but not a beret. We don't like to poke fun at people, seriously, well okay, we LOVE to make fun of people. But only people who deserve it, like the hideously ugly, people with webbed feet and Clay Aiken. So ditch the beret, Mr.Beret-wearer. No one thinks you look cool.

Another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us or we'll show up on your front porch some night with a Clay Aiken CD, flowers and high expectations of getting more than a good night kiss.

2006-09-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

... Clones

At first look, you'd probably say, oh they're gonna bag on clones because of those people who like to make extra copies of the same sheep so that they can do whatever it is that people do with alot of the same-looking sheep. Wait for it ... wait for it .... yeah, you just got the imagery, gross huh?

But we're not gonna bag on clones because as much as life will suck with 12 Kevin Federlines or 72 Kelly Clarksons, think about this ...

TWO KTRLs. Yeah that's right. Two radio stations to audibly invade your ear lobes. Two radio stations to give you what no other station in the Stephenville-area gives you. That's right, double the cooties.

Another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us or we'll clone Matt Damon. Not the cool Matt Damon from Kevin Smith movies, the one from the Talented Mr.Ripley.

2006-09-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

... People Who Overuse "SexyBack"

Yeah you know we're down with JT, it's our dirty little secret. But we can't remember the last day since that song dropped that we haven't heard someone say "hey, I'm bringing SexyBack" or "that's because JT's bringing SexyBack" or "that 500 pound gorilla has a SexyBack." So we say to those people who are overusing JT's brilliance, quit bringing SexyBack or we might be forced to bring SexyBack on you when you least expect SexyBack to be all up in your business.

SexyBack. SexyBack. SexyBack. Yeah, it's not like Beetlejuice, JT didn't pop up in our studios. Hey, we tried.

Another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and listening to us or we'll bring SexyBack.

2006-09-18T08:00:00.001-07:00

... MONDAYS

They're kinda like eating a taquito dipped in gasoline. You know, at first you're kinda like ... whoa, new taste sensation and then after about five minutes of digestion, you realize ... whoa, this sucks. Yeah, that's what we think about Mondays.

Taquitos + Gasoline = Mondays.

Another public service announcement brought to you by 100.7, The Planet. Keep reading our blog and keep listening or you might wind up in jail with a cellmate named Bubba.